Sunday, April 21, 2013

Beautiful beach days :)

This weekend Cassidy, Zoe and I are hitting up the beach. We both have the weekend off, which is a rare occasion for us to have. Luckily it has been gorgeous out and we found a good spot for Zoe to swim in shallow water. She is so funny as she leaps through the waist deep (waist deep on her is ankle deep for us) water. It is crazy how much we love to hang out with Zoe; it is what we look forward to do on our days off. She is such a wonderful and loving dog! And we are so lucky to have her :)

So lets go back to a year ago....I'm sorry for the lack of details but my chemo-brain at the time was pretty bad so I don't remember a whole lot.

In April 2012 I had an amazing 23rd birthday at Jan and Janet's house with all of my Texas friends :) We had a wine tasting party with delicious food that my friends brought and my dad made. It was a wonderful night and I will always remember it!

In May I think I tried to start looking for a job. Summer was working its way back into Texas and was starting to get hot again. I tried to work but if it was outside it was too much for my body to handle. It was around this time that I started thinking about going back home. I was having a really hard time dealing with the heat. If I got too hot my body would itch and get extremely uncomfortable; even my scalp hurt. I told Cassidy that I was thinking about moving back and he said that he would look into it with Apple to see if there were any openings on Oahu. As it turned out there was an opening at the Royal Hawaiian Apple Store in Waikiki. After talking with the store leader there Cassidy was offered a $7 riase to work there. With that in mind we started seriously looking into moving back to Hawaii.

June 2012
Since our lease to the apartment was coming to an end we had begun a search for a place that would be a little cheaper since I didn't have to be as near the hospital anymore. Our lease at Versailles ended mid July so by the time that we had found a perfect townhouse for our family of three (me, cass, and zoe!) we had decided to move back. With only a couple of weeks to sort out the details of moving back, time was of the essence! We started packing things into boxes, putting most of our stuff into storage and was thinking of a plan for the next couple of months. Cassidy had to go to work on Oahu but my 1 year checkup at MD Anderson was scheduled for September. Since I was having such a hard time with the Houston weather I was starting to look at other possible options. My dear friend Lori (who was suffering with cancer and was about to start home hospice care) was coming back and forth to my place and a friend's place in Colorado (Keystone) where she was going to be able to have home hospice care for free. Since it was taking so long to get settled she had to come back to Houston to get a refill of her pain medication that she needed. She was getting so weak and could barely walk so I was helping her as much as I could and keep her as comfortable as I could so that she could rest and be pain free. It was so wonderful to have her living with us for a couple of weeks. Since she was going to be living in Colorado, we were talking about having me move up with her so that I can be with her through hospice care until she passed away. I was so excited to go on this adventure with her; living in beautiful Keystone and being with Lori so that she didn't have to go through it alone. As June came to a close she told me that she was going to have to stay with us in July so she could get a refill on her pain meds and then go back up to Colorado and finalize everything with the home hospice care.  Of course with us, nothing ever goes according to plan.

July 2012
The first week of July I picked up Lori from the airport and got her settled at our apartment in Houston. That Monday we drove to her doctor's office for her appointment. What we found out was that he gave her a new prescription for her pain medication but he made it for a week later; meaning Lori was going to have to go through a week without any pain medication. Since she was expecting to get a refill that day she didn't try to save it and was out by that Monday. That week as we waited for the next Monday to come she went from talking and being herself to not being able to move or breathe without pain. Since she wasn't getting any transfusions anymore she was low on blood and extremely weak; she could barely make it to the bathroom. As her health declined we just counted the hours until we could fill her prescription. Unfortunately on July 7th her time of waiting ended. I was at home letting Lori sleep when I noticed that she was having a hard time breathing. I quickly came to her side and Lori looked very pale and kind of blue. Not knowing what to do I came to her side and asked if she was okay...if she needed help with something. She was having a hard time breathing and collapsed into my arms on her side. I quickly called 911 and told the lady on the phone that Lori had stopped breathing. I couldn't believe that she wasn't breathing. The lady told me to start compressions while she sent out a unit to help. As I tried to make her breathe I knew that she was gone....even as the paramedics charged in and took control I knew that it was too late. Cassidy showed up and together we followed the ambulance to the hospital where she was pronounced dead. My friend who I was so close to and loved very much had finally gotten her wings and was no longer in pain. That was what I had to keep telling myself to make it okay. She was preparing herself to move on and it just came faster than we had anticipated. I miss her so much; she was such a good person to talk to and she could relate to everything that I was going through. I think about her often and wish that I could talk to her still. I hope that she is resting and happy wherever she is now. 

Since I was no longer going to go to Colorado Cass, Zoe and I packed the car full of stuff and hit the road to go to California where I would stay with a friend until September. When September would come I would go back to Houston (flying) and see my doctors for my 1 year check up.

My next post will be about our road trip across the country :) I love you all and will be back soon, promise!

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